


Running in Circles

by Daxiefraxie



Series: Back To The Start [2]
Category: Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XI, Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XIII Series
Genre: F/F, Nullight, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29383977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxiefraxie/pseuds/Daxiefraxie
Summary: Lightning has loved before, and it has never come easy to her. Her high school boyfriend called her cold, and her rebound called her a bitch. She didn't disagree with either. But this bright spark of passion, this woman so hungry for life and love and everything that falls in between; she knows her from the first word, from the first glance, from every breath and every motion and every word. Lightning knows her and she feels warm like she has never felt warm before, and yet it is such a familiar feeling.Lightning and Prishe meet in a new world, but the old world keeps on echoing. (Set in Dissidia Opera Omnia after Prishe's Lost Chapter)
Relationships: Lightning/Prishe
Series: Back To The Start [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158500
Kudos: 4





	Running in Circles

When Lightning sees her, she knows. She knows in an instant. At that moment, she loves her, and she has loved her for years.

There is something like a her-shaped hole in her heart, and it's been there for so long. How did it take her until now to notice it?

Lightning has loved before, and it has never come easy to her. Her high school boyfriend called her cold, and her rebound called her a bitch. She didn't disagree with either. But this bright spark of passion, this woman so hungry for life and love and everything that falls in between; she knows her from the first word, from the first glance, from every breath and every motion and every word. Lightning knows her and she feels warm like she has never felt warm before, and yet it is such a familiar feeling.

When they set up camp that evening, Y'shtola ensures that Lightning has a tent to herself. She makes the offer after a single look, her expression shifting from momentary concern to knowing sympathy. The Miqo'te has always been frighteningly perceptive, and it seems this is no exception.

And Lightning undresses, slips into her bed, wraps the pillow around her face and sobs. There is no place for tears on the battlefield, no place for weakness. But here, she is weak. She is weak and she is wanting.

And she finds she has been wanting for such a long time.

****

_She taps her chest where that crystal lies. Her heart, or that thing bonded to it – her description of it changes day-to-day. "Did I ever tell ya why monsters steer clear of me? I know there aren't any here, but back in my own world I mean."_

_Lightning shook her head. "I'm guessing," she says with a smirk, "it's something to do with the fact that you can fight off ten Mannequins at once without breaking a sweat."_

_"One time!" She laughs, and it's beautiful. "And nah, nothing to do with being a super strong kickass radical lady." There's something of a fakeness there, like she doesn't quite believe the words she's saying, or the feeling behind them. Like she's playing a part. "This crystal doesn't just keep me alive. Stuff tends to..." She gestures at the air. "Cling to it."_

_Lightning just nods._

_"Darkness, for one, think that's why the monsters stay away. People sometimes too." She shrugs. "But it clings to more stuff than that." Her hand by her side and Lightning wants so desperately to reach out and take it. "Like memories."_

_An eyebrow up. "Whose memories?"_

_"Other people's, sometimes." She kicks her legs off the side of the wall. "Most of the time they're mine, sorta."_

_"Sorta," Lightning echoes._

_And Prishe turns to look at her, and there is a deafening melancholy in her violet eyes. "I think we mighta done this whole thing before. Over and over again. And every time, I think I keep falling–"_

And Lightning wakes up.

****

The Warrior, damn him, recommends the the two fight together. Lightning's experience would aid her novice talent, he said. The power of the Crystals seem to favor her quickly, and she needs a teacher, he said. But that smug little smile after each sentence, like he was the only one in on some sort of private joke, made Lightning feel a little like kicking his ass through the nearest Torsion.

Thankfully, she wasn't forced to be alone with the woman. The Warrior had always emphasized teams of three, after all.

"You're getting sloppy," Y'shtola warns, her green-glowing palm sweeping over Lightning's arm. Red to pale, and the pain is gone.

"I'm fine," Lightning says. She rolls her shoulder. "Thanks for the heal." A glance towards the third – she's farther off. Rushing ahead, always rushing. Lightning wonders if she has ever waited for a thing in her entire life.

Y'shtola sighs. "I recognize this is difficult for you–"

"Don't." Almost a warning, but Lightning knows she would never follow through. She isn't sure if Y'shtola knows it.

The Seeker throws her hands up in surrender. "Very well! But you know, I'm right. This _is_ difficult for you." Y'shtola moves to leave, but lingers, a gentle hand on the soldier's shoulder. "Lightning. You need not speak to me, you don't owe me your truth. But if you care for her, speak with _someone_."

"I'll take that under advisement," Lightning grumbles.

"Besides," she squeezes her shoulder, then releases, "pining is an awful look for you." And Y'shtola's teasing laughter remains even after she departs, hanging in the air like so much smoke.

****

"Why do you keep putting me on a team with her?" They're back at camp now. The odd, false sun is ticking downward towards the horizon.

The Warrior sits cross-legged on an outcropping, his helmet in his lap, silver hair spilling over his shoulders. "Lightning," he says, "please come sit."

She does, but she refuses to do so without filling the gesture with as much spite as she can muster.

"I assume you are not referring to Y'stola," the Warrior continues, "judging by the bond you seem to share with her. I think the sorceress and you make quite the deadly combination." He glances towards her for a moment. "Am I correct?"

"Sure," she says. "Y'shtola's fine, it's...not her. She's not the issue."

"Issue is an interesting choice of words." He hums something, a quiet thoughtful sound, staring at the sunset. "Your other teammate then. What issue arises from her presence?"

Lightning is quiet a time. Trying to think of a reasonable excuse.

"I'd prefer if you didn't lie to me," he adds, and she can't help but flinch.

"Anyone ever tell you how creepy it is when you pull shit from their head like that?"

"I can't say they have." The Warrior lets out a long breath. "I can see it in their reactions, though. I admit I would prefer not to comment as much, but it's a difficult habit to break."

Lightning sighs, forcing herself to loosen her reserved posture. "It's fine. I shouldn't have snapped like that."

"You're welcome to your feelings, Lightning." He glances at her and smiles. "In fact I value them very much. You have a soldier's training, but your own mentality. You're able to make difficult judgements quickly, and you judge situations on context." He chuckles. "If you were half as deadly as you are, I would ask you to pull back into a leadership position."

"Is that so?" She just stares at him, trying to parse something from his words. As Y'shtola tells it, she and the Warrior were two of the first of this Materia's chosen to join forces in this world, and she trusts him implicitly. But something about the man, who looks as though he could be younger than her but speaks like some wizened ancient...something feels artificial, somehow. As hollow as those Mannequins their foes pull from the Void.

The Warrior meets her gaze with an odd, amused expression, before starting. "Oh! I think we've gotten off track. You've yet to answer my question."

Lightning breathes out through her nose, quick and frustrated. "She reminds me of someone."

He tilts his head. "Someone from your world?"

"Would make sense." She plays it as a 'no shit,' but in truth, Lightning doesn't know. If it is, then it's someone she doesn't remember, somehow. Someone who feels as important to her as breathing, and she forgot them? How, and why? But, if it isn't someone from her world...the implication unnerves her. None of them know the nature of this world beyond second-hand, if there is indeed a lie in the goddess's explanations, then where does that leave her chosen? Or, of course, there is the most likely option: Lightning has simply succumbed to psychosis. It wouldn't be the first time. Her delusions have never lasted quite this long though, nor been half as sharp.

And the Warrior just looks at her. Like he's gazing into her skull again. "Hm," he says.

"What?"

"Oh, I simply wonder." He turns back to the sunset, and the glare against his face hides his expression. "It feels as though we have had this conversation before. Over and over again."

Lightning is cold, and the sun dips below the horizon.

****

It's a week before Lightning can speak with her. But oh, how much longer it feels. She counts the days to keep herself sane, and each night she swears she has misplaced the time. But no.

"Do you want to hang out after breakfast?" she asks, and winces at her own opening line. It's morning. Early, and chilled. Dew across the tents. Y'shtola asked the two of them to help set the table for breakfast, and it almost seems as if Lightning's teammate is attempting to keep pace with her. Slower and more careful than she usually treats these sorts of tasks.

The woman stops, and stares at her, and then bursts out laughing.

"What?" Lightning can't help but feel a little irritated. It's well-deserved mockery, but it still pokes at her pride.

"Nothing, nothing!" She shrugs, and breaks into a grin. "I guess I just kinda figured you hated me. So, wasn't prepared you to ask me _that_."

Lightning can't help but smile back, just a little. "I don't hate you. I'm hard to be around. It takes me a long time to get used to people. Even then, I'm kind of a bitch."

"Really?" The woman tilts her head over to catch Lightning's gaze. "You and Tola seem pretty tight."

"And I'm crueler to her than I want to be," Lightning replies. "But I'm trying. So, tell me your answer before I change my mind." It's meant to be a joke, and it doesn't sound like it in her ears, but her teammate still laughs.

"Yeah, yeah, alright, sure. Let's hang out." She hums to herself, sliding a plate onto the table. "Got a couple hours before we're s'pposed to head out anyway, right? I can spare a few for ya." The woman hesitates. "Do you got...like, somethin' on your mind? Any reason you wanna talk?"

"I want to get to know you," Lightning replies, honestly. "You...uh, you interest me."

"Interest, huh?" And her tone causes Lightning pause. She's barely known the woman for a week, but those words sound...like she's suspicious. Like she sees something in Lightning that Lightning doesn't want her to see.

"It's nothing weird," she assures, "you just remind me of someone. I think, at least. You seem really familiar to me somehow, and I want to know if you're anything like her." She swallows the last few words of that sentence: 'whoever she is.'

And those purple eyes are bright and wide and so very curious. "Oh! Sorry, bad habit on my part. Shouldn't have assumed; of course you're not like that." She grins. "Tell me about her? Is she cute?"

Lightning's face feels hot and her gaze darts away, and she can barely find the words to reply. "After breakfast." She feels torn apart, pulled evenly in two directions, like she'll be split down the middle.

But the woman just giggles, and places the last plate down. "It's a date! Your place, okay? Mine's kind of a mess."

This time, she truly can't find anything to say.

****

Lightning makes it through breakfast and back into her tent before she realizes this is a bad idea. The tents are unfurnished, nowhere to rest in hers but her bed. But her teammate is already slipping past her, plopping down on the mattress and patting a spot next to her. In lieu of another option, Lightning sits down. Too close for comfort.

"Tell me about this person I remind you of," she says.

Lightning chuckles, nervously. "Not wasting any time?"

She shakes her head. "I'm dying to know, Light. C'monnnnn, tell!" Hands together, almost begging, or praying.

Nowhere else to go. No other subjects to retreat to. No one to pull her away, not for at least an hour. Lightning supposes that it only took accidentally digging herself into a hole to actually open up to another person. If that isn't textbook her, she doesn't know what is. "It's sort of funny," she says. I don't really know that much about her. Bits and pieces." Hands idling in her lap. "I know she means a lot to me. Everything else is...vague. Like a dream."

"Hmm," she says, nodding solemnly. "So your dream girl then, you remember what she looks like?"

Lightning glances at the spitting image of the woman from those memories. "No," she lies.

Her teammate kicks her legs off the side of the bed. "Then, okay, what about me reminds you of her?"

Everything; but Lightning doesn't say that. "You've got the same energy. I remember her being sharp. She was impulsive, but quick too, and clever. She always seemed to know what I meant even when I didn't feel like saying it. We had scars in some of the same places, I remember that. And I remember..." The memory catches in her throat.

"Go on," she says, eager.

"It's sort of embarrassing," Lightning admits.

"Booooo, don't leave me hanging like that!" The woman clears her throat, straightens up. "I promise I won't laugh, or tease, or make any dumb comments. I swear it on my name."

Lightning nods, and stares down at her hands. "She wasn't my first kiss. But she was my fondest." She closes her eyes, trying to cling to the memory, to any details. "I think we kissed...I can't make out where, exactly. It was bright, there was this golden light all around us. I think she was trying to say something, and I couldn't hear it, and then she kissed me." Lightning can't help but chuckle. "I think that she was always the one to take the first step. Never much had the guts for that myself."

There's quiet, and it pulls Lightning's eyes open, pulls her gaze towards the other. Sitting there, an odd expression on her face. As soon as Lightning looks at her, she throws on a plastic-fake smile. "Sounds sweet."

"Mhm." And Lightning refuses to look away. "What's up?"

A laugh, or a scoff, and she breaks eye contact first. "Oh, nothing much." Staring at the far wall, she swallows hard. "Golden light, huh? Many places like that in your world?"

"None that come to mind," she says, slowly. "Nothing that looked quite the same, at least. Why do you ask?"

"Dunno," and Lightning can tell it's a lie.

"Please." The word leaves her before she can catch it, and the other winces. "I'm sorry, I just want to know. If there's something...maybe I'm crazy or maybe we both are or maybe it doesn't matter. But if there's something you see that I don't," that she remembers, "I'd like to know."

She's quiet, for a time. And Lightning can see the war in her. Two halves, conflicted. Split down the middle. "Just found it sort of funny." Her voice is quiet, and Lightning leans a little closer.

"Funny?"

She chuckles, glances over, then away again. "I don't quite recall it the same way." And before Lightning can parse that statement, Prishe is kissing her. Quick, and clumsy. Lightning can't stifle the flinch, and Prishe pulls away. "I'm sorry. I should have asked."

"Uh," Lightning says. She feels warm. "I mean...I wasn't complaining." She cracks a skewed grin that fades in an instant. Prishe's words are echoing around her head. "What do you mean, what you said? That you..." They're too close for comfort, but maybe she doesn't want comfort.

"I'm not sure," Prishe replies. "It's a dream. I dreamed I was standing at the end of the world, asking a beautiful girl to remember me." She laughs, and reaches up to wipe something from her eyes. "I think...she might have been you."

Lightning just stares at her. Like she's seeing Prishe for the first time, and yet it's not the first time, it's like every time before. "Prishe," she mumbles. Reaches out, cups the woman's cheek.

And Prishe giggles. "Heya Claire. Ya kept me waiting, huh?" She leans into Lightning's touch. "Betcha missed me."

"More than anything." And she breathes her in, until she can't bear a second more apart, and kisses her again.

**Author's Note:**

> I am the only fucker in this fandom who cares about Nullight and by g-d I will write the content I want to see in the world.
> 
> Also throwing some more hints to my Opera Omnia AU in here, not sure if I want to continue it but I've still got some ideas.
> 
> (Yes all my OO fics are going to have Coldplay lyric titles, sue me.)
> 
> [I'm on Tumblr, if you want to say hi.](https://myosotis-horizon.tumblr.com/)


End file.
